喂人奶记

生产后，医院里的人时不时就把恩恩推来喝人奶。可是尚未有奶的我，加上不会用对位置让恩恩吸，结果，乳头一天后就破了，非常的痛。过后看到恩恩是有点害怕，好怕要给她吸。第四天，开始有奶了，又是另一个恶梦。涨奶的乳房很痛，破了的乳头也痛。还好有好友的鼓励下，坚持忍痛给恩恩吸，晚上，auntie 也帮我按摩乳房。从生产到涨奶，令我打消了生第二胎的念头。早上，老公给我买了Medela 挤奶器，RM446， 好贵，没法了，需要到。但是，那一晚后，乳腺通了，宝宝吸也不痛了，开始了喂人奶的生涯。虽然到现在奶量乃是不够，但是，总算有给恩恩人奶，希望她抵抗力强些。每一次喂人奶，非常要有耐心，都花上一小时。

无奈

昨天晚上，恩恩吃完奶后哭了，我以为她不够饱。要求AUNTIE 再给。可是，auntie 说够了，可是她还是不停的哭，即使我一直哄她。嗨，很无奈。爸爸来抱她，竟然比较安静了，她真不给脸。心里有点儿害怕如何照顾满月后的她，而且家里没有其他人，爸爸要工作。希望她能多多合作咯。过后，auntie 说她是累了，也会哭。不一会儿，恩恩睡了。

Old dreamer , your heart breaker

There is a song that I always sing to my girl. While singing, I love the song more.
Moon river
Moon river
Wider than a mile
I'm crossing you in style
Some day...

Old dream maker
You heart breaker
Wherever you're going
I'm going your way...

Two drifters
Off to see the world
There's such a lot of world
To see...

We're after the same rainbow's end
Waiting around the bend
My Huckleberry friend
Moon River and me...

Today in the noon time, I digged out some old photos to show my confine lady. Suddenly, I feel that my face and body has totally changed. Now, I m a fat lady.It is the time for diet.

I still busy with pumping milk and feed my dear minnie breastmilk, although the amount is not sufficient, but I wish she gets antibodies from mummy milk. Seeing her feces not hard and semi liquid, I feel happy. Confine lady said baby with formula milk ll have hard feces, and they suffer more when pu pu time.




Pretty gu gu with minnie




















Bom bom time, she really enjoys the shower time.







Burping time after milk.





Smiling ....


















Sleeping time, sweet dream.

我们家的宇恩

宇宙的恩典， 是给我们的恩典。她也用了宇宙丁点儿的能量成就了自己。希望她平安，快乐成长，将来为社会服务。

New born

9 of Nov 2008,

Minnie can't wait to see the world. The moment we saw her, her eyes already opened widely. This was out of our expectation, as we thought baby should come with closing eyes.

In the hospital in 8 of Nov

baby's heart beat, and the contraction peak.As the peak appear, the pain is obvious.






In the labour room






8 of Nov, 7 am

Lots of watery liquid came out at the bottom. Half an hour later, brown discharge turned up. I started to suspect that baby arrival was soon to happen. Coincidently, that day we went for normal check up. Hence we waited at the normal clinic. After seeing gynae, she admited me immediately. 11 am , I flushed my bowel with medicine. Then the whole day, I was allowed to have only porridge.

Then on, the eye was looking at the clock and kept walking in the labour room. Once a while, nurse came in to check my pelvic dilation and put CTG on to check the uterus contraction and baby's heart beat.

The day seemed to be long. We kept waiting till 9 pm plus. My gynae called in and adviced me to accelerate the pelvic bone dilation by inducing it. So, I did that at 10 pm. I refused any pain killer at the beginning as I wish my delivery would be all on nature. However, the contraction was really make me changed my mind. Thereby, 6 pm I took the injection. I started to feel drowsy and sleepy after 9 pm, although the contraction pain was still obvious. Later on, I was not sure about the time as I had no energy to look at the clock anymore. I think about 11 pm, I heard voice saying that the dilation open till 6 cm. Still another 4 cm, but I started to regret not to take epidural or C-section. I think I m useless is enduring the pain. I was not sure what time, nurses said : Dr come already, : water bag broke , : time to deliver.....use energy ..push..this and that.

To be honest, my friends tell the truth that the feel really like going to toilet for big business. But they always "forget" to inform me the pain. I want to thank them here, very much. Else I dont think I'll be brave to overcome all this.

Finally, she is here. Minnie Kok Yi Ern, borned at 1.30am with witness by his daddy except gynae and nurses. I am happy and very thankful to my husband for his support. I hope he enjoyed the process as well.
I love you, dear.

In the hospital in 8 of Nov

Minnie Kok on board

Daddy and Minnie

Check up

Today we went for the CTG again. Minnie is very good and coperate as she moves lots during the half an hour. Hence, this makes no worries for baby's movement. She is active.

I found that she likes Kenny G but dislike Jay Chow. Whenever I on Kenny G's music, she can't stop herself from moving, in contrast, she stagnant when Jay Chow songs are in the air. Weird right?

Dessert of the day

This morning I was on ECG to check my baby's heart beat. The tire baby slept for that half an hour during the ECG hence, all the graphs seems to be calm and peaceful. But it doesn't seems like what the gynae wish to see. Right stepped out from the hospital, she woke up and started the job for the day. This really made me worry as I am not really counting her movement probably. I counts roughly more than ten groups of movement perday, then I'll be happy. But now on, I m keeping her record well, not to miss any movement of her. I worry as I wish she can be borned healthy.In fact, I start to feel my increase of attachment on this new comer.

Friends around me always tell me that new mum will be very busy and not to do any computing work during confine month. Do feel bit of stress to complete the thesis editing and papers writing. In fact, I still very curious on how busy it could be??

分享

今天早上观看了慧律法师的演讲， 题目是“什么是禅” 手上没做笔记，就靠记忆在这分享。
我们常说 ：禅是行，住，坐，卧，无处不是。但是这其实是圣者才能做到。而我们需要下功夫才能达到。
学佛能不能觉悟也不在于学历，而在于根基。读书再多也是生存的工具，而不能解决烦恼，所以常听到大学生忧郁症自杀，等。
所谓放下，是信物挂碍，自在，而不是忘了自身还有的责任，把禅运用在任何工作，责任都会幸福。

仁者无敌，是不是仁慈就没有敌人？不是的。是以仁慈的心去面对所有事与人， 不去埋怨他人对你好不好。当一个人说话不中听，是因为他先看到了你缺点；而说话讨你喜欢的，他也许隐藏许多事实。所以仁者是不去理会，分辨好于不好，对与错，不起烦恼心，心中没敌人。要降伏的是自己，而不是他人。你很恨一个人吗？当你把你恨的这一个人，想象剥开他的皮，他的肌肉，能看到什么？内脏，骨头等，这个时候，你真的还恨这一个人吗？师父说，他的妈妈为生活打拼了一辈子，到死了，能乘下什么？就是一堆白骨，如果卖给人做肥料，也只值2.8台币。而有谁能逃过化成白骨呢？他说，佛陀不是用死亡来威胁大家，这是真相，需要去面对。另外有一位商人，非常忙。他要师父用最短的时间告诉他学佛有什么好？师父叫他念了这样的诗，“天是棺材盖，地是管材低，无论闯那里，总在棺材里”。我所领悟的是，无论做什么，有什么成就，就是一个过程，所以无需太在乎，开心就好。其实什么是开心，画一画吧！什么是伤心，也画一画吧？能吗？好像不能，因为它们是无相的。

人其实是宇宙的组合，由地，水，火，风而合。地是骨；水是血，尿等；火是体温；风是呼吸。人用了宇宙一点点的能量组合了人体，而误以为是“我”，因而产生许多问题。

不要去改变伴侣，而是容忍他们，那么就能减少冲突。因为每一个人都有不同的成长背景，学历，所以要改变一个人会产生很多的不满，纠纷，也形成了离离合合，不如永无止境的轮回。

说禅，其实是不用说的，因为，当去解释禅，会掉入观念。

有一段是蛮好笑的，师父说，无论我们到那一个国家，做些什么，也是带着一堆内脏，骨头，不净体到处去。所以活在当下，不执着。

好了，能记下的就是这么多。与大家共勉者。

愿大家福，慧双修。

Gathering

(from left) Hun Seng, Lay Min,Me and the only sitting man is Mr.Loo, guess what, he is now 80 year old man but still looks very handsome and young !!

Birthday in year 2008

That's my birthday memory photos in year 2008. Thanks to my husband and baby to celebrate with me.


Yummy!!! ABC on board.













Hubby and me













The Curve













My gift














Gift from aunties.

In colloid lab of UM

Siew Wei and Me

























Why the tallest and slimest girl wanna hide behind us??

My seventh months pregnant photo

I m no longer can fit into the old swimming suit, here bought a new one so that I can swim. But till now, I just used it for twice.

I think I'll miss him

Finally, my old car sold to second hand car retail. Tonight I m going to send him away. This old car brings lots of memory to me. He was with me since I was 17 right after I got my driving license. Thanks to my generous mum to buy the car for me.

I wish to start short old tale story here. This car was borned in year of 1981. It is just slightly younger than me, so I treat him as my brother, who I seldom take care of but in contrary he takes good cares of me. He sends me to work, to shop, to meet friends for years. During secondary school time, I used to drive him to tuition at night. When back from tuition, I always loved to enjoy songs in the car with the air-con (although is dangerous) for about an hour. I did not feel lonely whenever I drive. He is my best company for years.

As time passes, he is getting old as a car. I have no choice to give him up as I really need to change a car. I wish his future will be happy anyway.




A wonderful car!!!

Second ultrasound

Don't know what reason that only one ultrasound can be uploaded. I think need to rescan again. I am very lazy at the moment, wait till one day I feel like doing it again and uploaded it.Hehe....=P

Baby ultrasound

Let me introduce, she is Minnie Kok. A gift for Bryan and Joyce.
This is some precious collection for her in the future.



Small but strong with the size as a pea.